Updates

Maybe the lazy, suffocating Florida heat is taking its toll on me, but I literally cannot find the strength to make a video these days. I wanted to do them every Tuesday, as a rule, especially as I'm featured on PunkTorah (or supposed to be... I'll probably lose that venue if I keep having little to no inspiration for a decent video!).

Just wanted to do an update on my conversion news, however, so here goes: Last Friday I spoke with a rabbi who gave me some of the info I was looking for. First things first, I was reluctant to say specifically where I live (paranoia?) but, for the sake of being less confusing, I now live in Orlando. For the past year and a half I was near Ft. Lauderdale/Miami. So, speaking to the rabbi, he informed me that the only place to do an Israeli-accepted conversion is down in the Miami area. I'm currently trying to see the good it did in putting it off instead of just doing it when I lived there... grrr!!! "Everything happens for a reason"? We'll see.

Anyway, the rabbi told me that the process will take 2-3 years, which was really terrifying to hear. The wife of my husband's friend completed her conversion (same synagogue I'm supposed to go through) in 7 months, so we'll see what happens. The rabbi also seemed really impressed will the level of "observance" I am at already, but was a little disappointed in my husbands. Oops! The difficulty here is that my husband grew up, for most of his life, in Israel and I think he's jaded by some of the religious hypocrisy he's seen. And, let's all admit, wherever there is organized religion, hypocrisy does exist in at least SOME people. Sad but true.

Well, I think the hardest part will be pushing my husband to become Orthodox with me. For me, as soon as I reabsorb myself in Jewish literature, websites, modest clothes, etc., the more excited I become and the more at-home I feel. For him, I am not sure what it feels like. It makes me sad that my husband doesn't feel the same joy and love for Judaism that I do, but I'm sure that if the tables were turned, I wouldn't understand him either.

Right now, I'm spending a lot of time kind of mentally preparing myself for the process. I know a lot of what it entails (I think), but my studying needs to really improve. I'd say my weak spot are the Jewish holidays. I don't understand them as much as I should, which isn't a good thing. Most of my focus has always been on how to "live" Jewishly - my attitude, how I treat other people, my dress, how I run my house. Those aspects have always concerned me the most. Is that a problem for the future?

The rabbi told me that the bein din will be meeting in Miami at the end of next month (August), and that he'll be emailing me a syllabus of the things they expect from me, should I be accepted as a potential convert. I intend to knock their socks off!

Quick apology - lately I have been seeing SO MANY AWESOME Jewish blogs by women, and I must apologize that I'm technologically challenged and cannot make a gorgeous, visually-interesting blog like them. But thank you, to you ladies, for giving me something fun to read! :)

Long Time, No Post!

Wow, I felt like I hadn't posted a blog in a while... but one month? That's just embarrassing!

Just wanted to put a quick link on here to an article that I really, really love. It's on Chabad.org and it's about who decides what's modest or not. Beautifully written, fairly written, and a must-read for any Jewish woman!

Shabbat shalom!

http://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/1248044/jewish/Who-Decides-What-is-Modest.htm

"I Am Jewish"

I stopped into Barnes and Noble today to do some much-needed reading. It's been a while since I bought any new books on Judaism, so it seemed like a good idea to swing by the religious section. By the way, in the B&N I visited, all Jewish-related books are categorized under "Religious Fiction" along with Islam and every Asian religion. I guess Christianity is the only one that is "Religious Fact"? :P

One book caught my eye right away. It was "I Am Jewish: Personal Reflections Inspired by the Last Words of Daniel Pearl." For anyone who hasn't cracked that one open, I highly recommend it. Granted, I only had time to skim it, but it had some of the most thought-provoking comments inside. After reading from contributors aged 11 to Larry King (his was suprisingly interesting), it got me thinking... a lot. What would my last words be, if I knew the end was near? Would they be "I am Jewish"? If they were, why?

"I am Jewish" is more than being born into a religion. It's being part of something that's bigger than you, but is always there for you, always part of you and you are a part of it. If your last words were "I am Jewish", what would that say about you? Would it be a monument to the fact that you never ate a bite of unkosher food in your life? Would it represent how you looked and acted to the world? Would it tell us how you believed in G-d, or your political views, or your daily routine?

If my last words were "I am Jewish", they would - hopefully - represent my actions. How I loved my husband. How I cherished my children. How I respected my mother. How I believed in the innate goodness in people even if I couldn't always see it. It would reflect how I always tried to do the right thing, gave what I could to help a friend or stranger in need. I would want it to say, in those three words, how I was grateful every day for the countless blessings in my life, to remind myself that my time on this earth was a gift that I had to work to rightfully deserve. In those three words would be a history of the small deeds I did to show G-d my appreciation and dedication.

But mostly, I would want them to honor the pride that I always felt in Judaism. Because if I didn't live every day trying to be a better Jew, I would never have the bravery to say those three words.