Waiting...

Two weeks ago, I spoke with an Orthodox rabbi from Miami who said he will help me with the info I need to start the conversion process. Unfortunately, he is currently in NY and, though he emailed me and said he'd be in touch, I'm still waiting for him to send me "the packet". Now, maybe someone else out there knows what a packet is, but my guess it's the syllabus he told me about that details what they expect out of a potential convert. Let the stomach butterflies begin.

I just might be developing OCD, as I'm checking my email so often it's hardly laughable. In the meanwhile, I'm spending a lot of time on Chabad.org watching videos and reading articles. I'm also getting frustrated about my kitchen - we have 2 sets of dishes, but only one microwave, stove/oven, and sink. I do my very best to separate everything but am afraid along the way everything has become a mixed up mess, thanks to my husband and guests. Anyway, everything will have to be re-kashered and possibly repurchased as we had been eating regular meat. Yes, one more step I want to work on is buying kosher meat. It wasn't until last week that I even knew where to find kosher meat in Orlando. Sometimes, I *really* miss living in South Florida. Everywhere you go, you see Jewish people, Jewish delis and eateries...and let's not begin to mention how much I miss the shawarma.

The other night, I had a mini-breakthrough with my husband. He's a very smart, independent person who likes to do things for himself. This is the reason he's having a difficult time with the idea of having to live a more strict, Jewish lifestyle. The thought of imposed rules has him wanting to run for the hills. My strategy is to simply do things on my own -learning, studying, kosher cooking, etc.- and I know that, in time, he'll want to follow. The problem is, he has had a lot of negative experiences with the Orthodox Jews. My husband hasn't had an easy life, as he and his family were immigrants to Israel and were not treated kindly (which I find to be incredibly sad and disappointing). Israel is also a very difficult place to work and be financially stable. Because of this and other various things, my husband grew up not feeling that Orthodox Judaism was a good way of life for him. He didn't like the sheltered aspect of it, the hypocrisy he witnessed, and first-hand issues he experienced (for example, he was once kicked out of a synagogue as a teenager because he didn't have money to pay for the service. It was Yom Kippur, and the rabbi yelled at him and forced him out).

Back to the mini-breakthrough. During a short discussion in the car, I kindly brought it up to my husband that there are always going to be people who do wrong by their religion, but it doesn't mean that there aren't genuinely good people out there who practice what they preach. (I personally would have no interest in becoming Jewish if I didn't intend on being a GOOD Jew. My husband finally admitted that he was afraid that the rabbis would want him to become ultra-Orthodox (peyos, hats, suits, the whole shebang) and he just couldn't do it. Personally, I don't think that will happen as he is already Jewish, however, he will definitely need to begin keeping Shabbat, praying more often, keeping kosher, etc.

I'm getting distracted by my doggy, so sorry this post has been a bit rambling and disorganized. Time to get off the computer and take a trip to the grocery store to restock the kitchen. A friend of my husband's is staying with us and I'd underestimated what it takes to feed two full-grown men!

Have a great day everyone!